Gift Stockpiling
December 4th, 2007I’m kicking off December with reflections on the value, or lack thereof, of collecting bargain-priced gifts. This topic was spurred by a recent clean-out of my “gift closet” to make room for baby linens, and a great Frugal Hacks post by Meredith about being too frugal in gift giving.
My gift closet was where I had been storing new items that I found great deals on, and picked up with the intention of giving away when the occasion arose. Justifying it to myself, I figured someone else should benefit from the bargains even if I couldn’t, and it would allow me to give more expensive presents than I would otherwise be able to. (Items also included gifts I had received and couldn’t use, stored for re-gifting). The bulk of my collection was kitchen items, toys, frames, and quite a few spa products and candles.
The problem is that not enough “gift closet” occasions seem to arise - I’m too picky about presents I give. I want them to be both useful and suited to the recipients. So for weddings and baby showers, I don’t raid the closet. Instead, I generally select an item from their registry that I like, and include an additional product that I personally find valuable. There just aren’t enough situations where the recipients and the gifts on hand are a good match.
And when I think about the gifts I like to receive, candles and body washes don’t make the list. Our candles are usually the Yankee variety, and we have particular scents and brands of bath products that we use. Other styles end up in the closet to be re-gifted. If those aren’t things I would use if I received them, why would I give them to others?
The net result is my inventory builds up, and I run out of room while forgetting exactly what I have stored. I don’t want all these things cluttering my house, and my husband certainly doesn’t.
Therefore, in what constitutes the demise of the gift closet, I have donated a number of items to Goodwill, and a bunch more toys that I picked up from Kmart clearance are going to support an inner-city ministry that lets moms buy presents at reduced cost. This way, the gifts aren’t collecting dust indefinitely and are hopefully helping someone who wants them. Remaining items have been consolidated into drawers of a “gift dresser.”
The past year of bargain hunting has taught me a lot of lessons, and going forward, I’ll do my best to limit my bargain gift purchases to items with pre-determined destinations - ie: a particular person’s birthday, within a one-year timeframe. Repeat to self: “Just because it’s ridiculously cheap doesn’t mean I should buy it!”
Overall, I’m concluding that gift giving is an area where I’m better off living in the moment and letting the bargain hunting go by the wayside. I strongly identify with Meredith’s comment:
“So what if I have to remind myself that it’s the recipient, not the bargain, that matters? Our tight personal budget makes generous giving possible.”
Given my naturally cheap tendencies, it’s too easy for generous intentions to get derailed over the cost of the gift, instead focusing on the joy of giving something worthwhile to someone I love. (Of course, I’ll still “soft” bargain hunt when I know what I’m looking for, by using coupons and shopping around for the best price.) Eschewing bargain hunting in favor of a targeted gift still doesn’t guarantee I’ll find the perfect present, but at least I’m focusing on serving the person instead of attempting to manipulate a present to fit the recipient.
Notes: *This doesn’t mean I’m abandoning a gift shopping budget!
*Also, I’m definitely not saying all presents need to be bought. In fact, I should look into more homemade gifts.
*I’ll still probably keep a couple of small generic gifts on hand for last-minute hostess presents, etc.
I know what you mean. I do still maintain a gift cabinet, but it’s usually limited to “fluff”–cute little somethings which can bulk up an otherwise pre-determined gift.
For instance, my standard baby gift is a large pack of diapers. To keep it from being too practical, I include one of the darling outfits I’ve bought–tags still on–for a dollar or two at a thrift store. (Matching the baby and season appropriately, of course!)
The rest of my gift cabinet is full of gifts for specific people’s birthdays and Christmas.
I have a small gift shelf in my closet and I normally store things there that I’ve bought with a particular person in mind, along with some generic gifts - like small candles, small child’s gifts, things like that - which I use as hostess gifts or to fill out another gift. But I completely understand about having to put a halt to the bargain buying. Even if it was cheap, I don’t want to buy it unless I have a specific purpose.
Wow, this is timely. I’m just about to get off of the computer and clean out my gift closet which means getting rid of most of it. This really gives me something to think about.
So interesting! I think you’ve just shown how a gift closet can be a total money pit.
If you stay focused on the recipient, like you mentioned, instead of the “Wow! What a deal!” item, you’ll end up ahead of the game and with happy friends.
Because honestly, though everyone likes nice candles and lotion, the gift itself does seem a bit impersonal and somewhat cliche.
I saw the story about the hoarders with 75 tons of trash in their house on Oprah last month and a HUGE percentage of what she had was gifts for future gift giving.
Hi y’all! Thanks for the feedback. I wish I had seen that Oprah episode, sounds like someone I risk becoming 20 years from now.
I actually still like the concept of a gift closet. For me though, I just think it’s been more of a hindrance than help, functioning as an excuse to buy bargains I don’t need and to hold on to things I shouldn’t. Lord-willing, my judgment and self-control will improve over time and I’ll resurrect it.
And I don’t mean to bash the candle/lotion gift category
They definitely have their place, and some folks get a lot more use out of them than I.
[...] thanks to Crystal for the mention of my Gift Stockpiling entry. (Good thing I got around to scanning my Google Reader for once, eh?) The topic has spurred a [...]
This is an EXCELLENT post/topic!
I used to maintain a nice bin of “Things to Give”, but I made sure I had specific people in mind when I spotted bargains on specific items. I even went so far as to put a post-it note on each item with the event/person on it so I didn’t forget why I even bought the thing. *chuckle* That happened a few times before I figured out THAT system.
After my first husband left I found myself with a half a bin of things that were for relatives and their children who were no longer speaking to me or my daughter. I donated the bulk of them (toys and clothing) as they weren’t things that my daughter could use - but for some reason I saved a few boyish puzzles and games “just in case”. I figured if nothing else one of my friends might be able to go shopping in my bin for gifts for someone!
Good thing I did - I ended up being blessed with a wonderful second husband and now a son!!! I’ve got a set of blocks, a 4-puzzle set, and a counting toy hidden in his closet for when he’s old enough. Not a reason to refill the bin, since I didn’t know - but keeping those few little things “pays off” in a way I didn’t expect.
I have a very, very small gift stockpile. Mostly things like quality candles, body washes, soaps, and bath salts.
It has proved extremely useful not for the standard gift-giving occasions, but when a friend of mine suffered a miscarriage I was over there with a bottle of lotion and grocery store flowers. New baby in the neighborhood–give her mom a nice candle and a journal.
I use my gift items to seize opportunities to let others know I’m thinking of them. That being said, I never re-stock, even if it’s a great deal, if I don’t need to. I never have more than ten gifts or so on hand.
[...] brookearly had some great ideas on this topic.You can read a snippet of the post here.Given my naturally cheap tendencies, it’s too easy for generous intentions to get derailed over the cost of the gift, instead focusing on the joy of giving something worthwhile to someone I love. (Of course, I’ll still “soft” bargain … [...]
“Just because it’s ridiculously cheap doesn’t mean I should buy it!” — TOTALLY agree!
I usually only purchase things for my gift closet for specific people. I find it keeps the closet under control and keeps my wallet happy, too.
This is a great topic. I was planning on posting about this same subject after the new year. Great blog!